Discouraged

It's a late night, which isn't unusual for me. I'm so messed up right now. I'm really confused about so many things--I really don't know what to do. I feel like such a broken record. I say I'll do things, but then I hit a speed bump in the road, and it's like a I give up--find an excuse not to do what I had committed myself too.

I'm so tired of trying to figure things out. I just don't have it in me anymore...

I'm not happy with my life, it's my fault though--I've lost sight of the important things, and I'm not sure how to get them back in sight, much less keep them in sight.

I look around me, and it's like people have things figured out, and I'm the only one who doesn't. I really feel like such a failure--I'm not going to school, and as of right now, I'm not doing anything else besides work--and it's not fulfilling! I don't know where to turn--besides Jesus! Which to be perfectly honest, I haven't been doing much of lately...that in itself is probably my BIGGEST problem.

I feel so unworthy of everything. I'm not sure what everything is though...

I really want to cry so very hard, it would probably help me so much. I remember I used to cry so much, but lately it's like I have no feeling or emotions. I have no desire to do anything--it's like living is just too much itself.

I have no right to be feeling this way. I am the most ungrateful human being on the planet! I have everything, yet I'm taking it all for granted! What is my problem...???

need to some serious soul searching--

very much a troubled Gypsy