*chuckling*

oh my! I've had this blog for quite some time. I vowed I'd be faithful and keep it updated, but of course that didn't happen ;) However, I have posted infrequently since I created it. I was going back and re-reading the different posts I've made through the years, and I have to say, "I'm a weirdo!" ha ha. I did enjoy reading my 'raw' emotions in the blogs; as we get older we tend to forget how we felt in those moments. I'm thankful, that even though I HAVEN'T been faithful in posting, at least I did post. I noticed most of my posts were when I was struggling with something in particular.

They're many gaps missing in my story, unfortunately. They're moments that hit when I just feel like blogging; obviously those moments haven't been often. ha ha.

Life happens, and blogging becomes insignificant in the grand scheme of things. However, it's much more common now. I suppose one could argue that Facebook is a form of blogging, in which case, I do blog often. :) It's like fast food blogging.

Life has changed dramatically since my last post. I was quite despondent. Fabulous news, I am no longer! I've gone through several jobs in the last few months. I know I come off as flaky when reading such news; I assure you I am not. Those jobs just weren't the right fit for me. I have found one that is, and I am very excited to begin, but a tad nervous as well. I don't want to fail.

School begins, once again; in a few weeks. I'm looking forward to it, because I just want to get my educational career completed. I'm leaning towards studying Social Work, with a minor in counseling [perhaps]. I want to make a positive difference in children's lives, and I feel this is one way I could, perhaps, accomplish it.

Now, my favorite person and subject of all time [besides Jesus, that goes without saying, I think] my wonderful, handsome, adorable, sweet, boyfriend. I'm sure I could come up with more adjectives to describe him :P Our relationship has improved IMMENSELY! For that I am most grateful. We hit a rough patch a few months back, it wasn't good. But we have learned to better communicate with one another, and that I believe was the key. He honestly is an amazing man, and I am blessed and privileged to have the honor of being with him and knowing him.

sad, hurt, lonely

Dear Jesus,

I'm going to use this blog to talk/write you. I hope you don't mind.

I'm having a really hard time. When haven't I heard that? Is what I'm sure is going through your head. I'm sorry, but I am. I'm struggling with many different issues right now, but the one that is bothering the most is: my boyfriend. Now isn't that a cliche, a girl having boy troubles. I know that I'm not perfect and I don't claim to be. I make mistakes everyday. I know that I get very immature at times when it comes to my relationship, sometimes I just feel I can't help it, it almost feels good to act in a childish way...but then afterwards I feel very foolish; but boy in the moment it feels GREAT! Needless to say, I don't always handle issues very well (when it comes to the relationship.) Also, this is the first time that I have had a "real" relationship, so I don't always know the best way to approach things.

I should say, I love him very much. Most of the time he makes me so happy. Lately however (over the last few wks) he's been different towards me. I'm not sure why, but he's been getting real mean and jerkish. I honestly don't know how to handle it, it makes me feel like he really doesn't care about me or love me in the way that he claims. Does this make sense? Is that possible? The way he has been treating me, has been VERY hurtful :( I don't know what to do Jesus. It really hurts. I don't know if I should cut my losses and end the relationship. I don't want too, I love him and do want to be with him...but not if he's going to continue to be this way towards me. When I mention to him how bad it is ( I really believe that he knows what he's doing) he'll say sorry...but I don't feel he really means it, because then he just keeps doing it. Is there another girl in is life that he'd rather be with, and doesn't want to be the "bad" guy and end it, so he is just mean and awful to me in hopes that I'll break it off?! I don't know, maybe. He used to NEVER be like this! He's intentionally mean! That hurts so much, because if he wasn't aware of it or something, then I'd be a bit more understanding, but NO he knows he's doing it, and continues to keep doing it!

I'm sorry Jesus, please forgive me. I just want to know what I should do, or how I should handle it. I guess in a sense, this is my prayer to you. I apologize for the crude manner in which I'm presenting it to you..I hope you don't mind.

Well, I feel a little better, sorta. Let off a bit of steam. I just feel really hurt, he doesn't care about me anymore. What am I still doing with him?

Feeling sad, hurt, and just really lonely

Ugh!! I'm soo annoyed right now! My boyfriend is out and about with his friends having fun, and it's like he doesn't even care about me! ugh! I know this is so adolescent...but I have to vent somewhere, I have no else to vent too! So, sorry you get to hear my dumb immature ranting. Lately he's been acting differently towards me...and I'm afraid he's just getting sick of me and doesn't really love me like he says he does. It's like he lacks a common sense chip! He's so dense sometimes, or at least acts like it!!!! ugh!!! I love this guy too much I think. I need to get my friends base back...I depend way to much on him. It's like he doesn't get that some of his actions just plain out bother me! I don't know why he doesn't see it. Dumb, dumb, dumb! He's just so distant lately. It really bothers me...I'm afraid he's just gonna up and leave me..then that will make me feel so worthless..cuz if I can't keep him interested, then who will I be able too!!!!!! I don't think he really loves me that much :( or at least lately it hasn't really felt like it. I just feel so sad...and I wanna cry. I'm really trying not to nag him, but I want to go off on him so badly! I feel really hurt :( :( Just been feeling extra crazy lately, and I'm never usually like this. He's making me feel this way, another reason why I'm just not happy with him right now.

Anywho, I feel a bit better now. Thank you very listening. I know this is more ramble than anything else, and doesn't make much sense at all; but that's ok. It works for me!

Back to anatomy! ugh!

Discouraged

It's a late night, which isn't unusual for me. I'm so messed up right now. I'm really confused about so many things--I really don't know what to do. I feel like such a broken record. I say I'll do things, but then I hit a speed bump in the road, and it's like a I give up--find an excuse not to do what I had committed myself too.

I'm so tired of trying to figure things out. I just don't have it in me anymore...

I'm not happy with my life, it's my fault though--I've lost sight of the important things, and I'm not sure how to get them back in sight, much less keep them in sight.

I look around me, and it's like people have things figured out, and I'm the only one who doesn't. I really feel like such a failure--I'm not going to school, and as of right now, I'm not doing anything else besides work--and it's not fulfilling! I don't know where to turn--besides Jesus! Which to be perfectly honest, I haven't been doing much of lately...that in itself is probably my BIGGEST problem.

I feel so unworthy of everything. I'm not sure what everything is though...

I really want to cry so very hard, it would probably help me so much. I remember I used to cry so much, but lately it's like I have no feeling or emotions. I have no desire to do anything--it's like living is just too much itself.

I have no right to be feeling this way. I am the most ungrateful human being on the planet! I have everything, yet I'm taking it all for granted! What is my problem...???

need to some serious soul searching--

very much a troubled Gypsy

lost so very lost

I need to gain control of my life! I just don't know how. There are times when I feel like everything is going good, I have control, then before I know it--crash-bang-boom! It all blows apart!!

I just don't know what to do--I feel like crawling in a hole and disappearing. I just want to go to Heaven--it would be so much easier!

I found this wonderful quote today. It rings so true too me--I have to stop doing this.

Ninety-nine percent of failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.

Bummed out!

So....

My worst fear has indeed been realized. I, once again, like someone who DOES not like me back!!!!

Why does it always have to end up like this for me? I'm so mad and frustrated at myself, it's unbelievable!!!!

He doesn't even text me anymore, which is sad, because I thought we were friends. I guess not. Oh, well, what's a girl to do?!

On a more positive note, I have finally decided what I'm doing about college. I came to the realization that "traditional" education is just not my cup of tea. No use fighting it any longer! I am going to be attending a photography school! Which I'm really super excited about!!!! I'm looking into 2 different ones. One in Cali and one in mass. I think I'm leaning towards the one back east, but we'll seee!

Just wanted to give a brief update!

Sad and disappointed,
gypsy

Oh what, Oh what am I going to do?!

I have some new news! I no longer like the guy who I liked for much, much too long!

THAT CALLS FOR CELEBRATION! Ohhh yay baby! :D

However, I do believe that I'm beginning to like someone else. I'm not sure yet. And if he likes me, I have no clue (there is a possibility he may have a girlfriend.)

It sucks though, I didn't want to like him, but as of recently, I have begun too, and I don't know what I'm going to do.

He's a really nice guy, but I don't know him THAT well. We're friends, but it's not like we really hang-out besides work. So......I don't know we'll see. It would just absolutely suck, if I end up liking a guy who doesn't like me in return--AGAIN!

Talk about frustrating!

Man OH man.....I need to find the sweetest guy in the world, who will love and like me for...me!!!!!! That would be unbelievably wonderful and lovely--all wrapped up into one big hug!

That's it for now. I'll update later!

xoxo--gypsy

tidbits of my new going on's....

Wow! It's been quite some time since I've blogged. I have been so busy, and to be completely honest, forgot that I had this account. :) So much has changed since I last wrote, I don't even know where to begin.

I guess from the beginning would work, only there are so many.....

To start off, him. Much has changed in this "department" of my life. I don't want to get into all the details, because there are too many, and I really can't even remember most of them. :) But to sum it up, I confronted him a few months back, and to say the least it changed our relationship in many ways, and in many more it stayed exactly the same! More or less, I have found that this guy, 1. doesn't know what he wants in life right now, he thinks he does, but he really doesn't. 2. he's a jerk, when it comes to me at least, he plays many games, and he's embarrassed of me and wants to keep me "hidden." 3. the most important point of all....he's still in love with his best friend. So, there you have it.....I really think it's for the best, as much as it has hurt and whatnot.....in the end it's turning out alright.

Moving on! Ironic right? :)

I have a job now, have since march. I'm a manager in training, although they should have given me my raise a long time ago. The job is alright, the people I work with for the the most part are pretty neat people. I can't wait to quit though. I'm really tired of working there, and my next job is most definitely going to be something completely different!

Which brings me to my next topic.

SPAIN!!! In the spring I will be doing a semester abroad!! I cannot wait! I know it will be so good for me, and I've been wanting to do something like this for a really long time!!! I have to get all the paperwork and stuff in....but I'm doing it and trusting God that he will provide all the finances for the trip!!!

So, that's what I have been up too. Just a brief update!

A much excited Gypsy

confused, lonely, and hurt

Tonight I wanna cry.

I feel so confused and so hurt right now. I'm not sure I can take much more of this. I don't know what to do. My emotions are changing like a babies diaper needs to be changed,(sorry, bad metaphor.) I don't know what to do anymore. One day I'm fine and at peace, then the next day I'm the complete opposite. I'm constantly second guessing myself. If you haven't yet figured out who I'm referring too, it's the infamous..him! I just feel so confused. I think he likes me, but at the same time, I'm not entirely sure. Many times he acts like it, but then I just get like these mixed signals. Granted I haven't been the most forthcoming either, but I've been working on that. I'm sorry, but he has to know that I like him, he just has too! Like I invited him to the movies, and he went with me....well, I didn't hear from him until like two days later. He called to ask if he could borrow my usb! Then later on that night, I saw him, and I was really nice and gave him a back massage and everything. So, the next night I go to check my e-mail..and he e-mailed me. So, I e-mailed him back..the him me...then me him...and then nothing! That was days ago! Then I see him today...and I give him another back massage...but as we were talking and stuff..come to find out he went to the movies with another girl and stuff...and here he's always saying that he doesn't have a lot of time. What I don't get is if he really liked me, then why didn't he invite me or something. I hardly ever hear from him. Then he's talking about leaving and going to the Marines and how excited he is about that, which I think is great, but it just hurts so much! I'm afraid that once he leaves I'll never see him again..and he'll find some other girl who is prettier and better and everything and he'll fall in love with here...and I'll just be left hung out to dry!! I have liked him for so long...that I'm afraid that it will be all for nothing and that he doesn't really like me and that maybe he just sees me as a little girl or something...I don't know! I like him so very much it hurts! But when I see him, it somehow makes up for everything...I just can't explain it. Despite everything, my feeling for him just keep getting stronger! When I'm not around him, I think about him and I miss him so much! But I what I don't understand is why! Why do I miss him so much?!? When he's around I feel completely happy. I think I like it better when it's just me and him, because then I'm really comfortable with him...and it's just really nice! I don't know. Lately I just don't really feel like doing stuff, because I would rather be with him..only problem is..that's not really an option! But at the same time I've been messing up, and I don't mean too..it just happens. It's like I want to let him know how I feel, but I just don't know how to without just coming right out and saying it...and I'm too chicken for that! I just feel really lost, lonely, and confused right now. Alot of new emotions and feelings that I've never had before. Like in the past I've liked him, but that is as far as my thoughts on the matter went. Lately...and I know this is going to sound bad, and I hope I'm not a bad person for feeling this way..these feelings have just come out of the blue, but it's like I wonder what it would be like to have a physical relationship with him...not in the sense of sex...but in the sense of hand-holding, kissing, hugging...etc. The feelings have been really strong, especially lately and I don't know why or where they came from!! He really is a lovable guy....and I really like that about him!! I don't know what to do! It just hurts so bad right now! I don't want him to be with other girls...but at the same time..if he's not the one for me..then I want these feelings gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I'm going to go to bed..and listen to sad country music! lol.

confused, lonely, and hurt
gypsy

A few brief updates...

Well, I have joined the rest of the losers in this world. I have quit school, not permanently, just for this next semester. I just feel really discouraged and I have no motivation or desire to school at the moment, but I refuse to give it up all together, because I know it's my ticket to a "better" life. I don't even like that term or phrase, but at the moment it's the only one I can think of to express what I'm trying to say!

Anyway, I'm pretty happy about my decision. Now the next task is, is to get a job. Which I'm going to go today as soon as Frank returns. Which is why I need to keep this short, I still need to get ready. I'm thinking about Culinary school. I love to bake and cook, so why not get paid for what I like to do?? We'll see, it's a grand and expensive idea, one which I need to pray more about.
OK, real quick. The one other topic I want to discuss is "him." Well, the last month or so...before we moved to the new house. (which by the way...we moved...) he was coming around like pretty much every night and hanging out until really, really, late. At first I didn't think much about it considering everything that he is going through right now. Well, my and aunt were like, no shanaye, he really really likes you. I on the other hand wasn't so convinced! Ya, sure sometimes he might "flirt" a little bit....but he has always done that...as long as I can remember. Well, me being a stupid idiot...let myself believe that maybe, just maybe he did like me back. Well, it turns out that I should have gone with my gut feeling, (normally my gut feeling is always correct..) because he DOESN'T LIKE ME!! About a week and half ago he started coming around less and less....and when he was around he didn't hardly give me the time of day, which led me to believe that the guy never even liked me to begin with!! At first it hurt really really bad, I've never felt that way before about him, but after a little time the pain wasn't as sharp. Now, like a idiot, I find myself missing him all the time...which is really annoying, because all I want to do is not think about the guy!!!!!! Goodness gracious!!

So, there you have it....my "love" come and gone. lol. I just have to remind myself he isn't the only guy out there. The problem is....when I see other guys...all I see or think about is him...and I don't understand why! Perhaps I should ask my mom about that!

Well, I'm going to end this, because I need to go take a shower and get a job!
Until later..

Short and Sweet

I'm pretty bored right now. I'm at school writing this. I should be working on my math, but I'll do it later. :) I have somethings I want to talk about but, I'll do it some other time. Today is not that day. Just felt like writing a quick short note. Well, until later.

Short and sweet,
gypsy

penny for your thoughts....

I'm sitting at the computer tonight, just reflecting on all the changes that have happened over a short period of time. Every time I think about it, it just blows my mind away. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to remind myself that it's all real and that everything did happen. Sometimes, I just can't fathom it!! I was remembering our time in Illinois and I can't believe that we actually moved there!! We lived there 8 months! All that happened, I just can't believe that it did. It just feels like a dream. Right now I'm just in complete awe! I don't think there has been a time since we've been back that I have actually sat down and really thought about it. Now it seems to be hitting me like a bolt of lightning! Wow! Wowo! The one friend that I made there, she doesn't really talk to me anymore. Which is fine and everything, but I just remember all the times we hung out and had fun....and it feels like all of it was...well, unreal! I don't I could explain or describe what I'm feeling right now. No words would do it justice!!!

Anyway, my cousin finally got married. It's been over a month now. Ya, I'm late with the whole news stuff. lol. Or I might have already mentioned it, but just forgot. That happens often. Well, my mystery guy broke up with his girlfriend. I'm not sure how I feel about it though. I mean I'm happy, but....I don't know. His mom keeps telling him that I like him and stuff....which I'm mortified at by the way. And I've asked my mom to please tell her not to do it anymore. So...hopefully she will. She really wants him to ask me out. lol. The way I feel is this...if it's suppose to happen...then it will. He says he's happy about not being in a relationship anymore...I don't think he wants to rush right into another one!! I don't know......he used to come around and stuff...now he doesn't that often anymore...it just makes me wonder if by his mom telling him that....that that has caused him to shy away from coming around. But hey....it makes it much easier on me!!! lol.

Well, I'm going to bed. I have to get up early tomorrow. Please pray for me. I need a job...and some help with these feelings!

melancholy,
gypsy

Just a little bit of everything. A generalized update!

Hmm....it's pretty late, like usual. I'm sitting at the computer...(typing..of course) and just thinking and contemplating a few things. Not sure if I will go into detail tonight about everything. But, perhaps. We'll see.

Anywhoo...
School has been going alright. Math is getting trickier. Bio is just plain ole' boring! My other classes are fine. Although, my theatre class has quite a bit of HW. What is up with that? It's suppose to be an elective=easy!! My goodness, what is this world coming too? lol. Other than all those complaints, school has just been, well....school.

I've been having some very interesting boy episodes. I suppose I could call them. :-D I'm not going to go into great detail for a few reasons. 1. it's just too complicated to write out...and it takes too long. 2. in involves more than one guy..which =confusing. 3. I'm a little nervous someone will come in right now...and i won't have the time to explain myself. so, there it is.
Basically, I think there is a guy in my class who might like me. Then we have Maryanne's brother David...his parents I guess we're wanting to set us up at the wedding or some or other. That is just plain ole' awkward! Finally, we still have number one. But I've been trying to resign myself to not liking him anymore...NOT EASY!!! Man oh man! Complicated and confusing. Lemme tell you!!! So, there it is..as plain and simple as you can get it! lol.

Okie Dokie..moving on...vrooom...vroomm...lol...
I'm STILL trying to get a job!! However, I know the Lord will reward me with the RIGHT one!! There are a couple of jobs I would really enjoy having, so I'm praying and hoping one comes through! Because I desperately need a job!! :-D

Well, I don't think I have anything else to update on. Oh, I'm dieting right now..trying to lose at least 5 pounds, if not more...we'll see. Kinda hard to tell how much I weigh when I don't have a scale!! Frustrating!! I've been drinking Green Tea like crazy. It's actually not bad once you get used to the taste. (I've been drinking it absolutely plain!) Yay for me! lol. Well, I'm ending this now!

a tired gypsy

Been sometime...

It's been quite sometime since I've journal ed. I've been either busy, or not....or just plain forgot. I really don't have anything in particular to write about. So, I just discuss whatever happens to cross my mind. So...here we go...

I have started college and am halfway into my 3rd week of the semester. Wow, time flies by super fast! It's been OK so far. I think I'm starting to enjoy it a bit more as time goes on. In the beginning, I didn't even want to go...or be in school for that matter. Just a couple of days ago, I was still feeling like that. However, today I spent the entire day at the college studying and going to class and found that I'm starting to like the idea and feel for going to college. But we'll see. I'm just taking it one step at a time.

Today, I turned in a film review for English. Fingers crossed. I hope/pray I get a excellent grade! Then I went to math.....and I had to get my teacher to reset on of my math test..(we do the homework and test online) and one for my cousin. That took forever. I wouldn't have minded it so much, but I had a biology test to study for and it was cutting into my study time. Well, my bio test rolled around...and it was alot easier then I excepted. So, I hope that means I'm getting a good grade. Then I had to go take my math test again, because it was due today!! Man what a day. I didn't get home till around 6pm. So, that is the summary of my day.

I'm still not entirely sure what I'm going to do. But I think I'm still going to work towards the nursing program regardless. I just at this point want to survive my first semester of college with good grades!!!

I've been ok. I haven't been reading my bible as much..and I need too. I feel so fat and ugly right now. I know I'm not....but I sure could use some exercise. I need to get a job, but I've just been lazy about it. But that's a whole other thing...which I don't feel like discussing!! Well, I think I'm done for now!!

I still want/am going to do acting and photography....I don't know how or when. But I will!!!

At ease,

gypsy

Having some doubts that I hope are cleared soon.

I'm in major limbo right now...or maybe it's just major doubt. Either way...I'm stuck. I am "planning" on doing the nursing program and everything, and I know it will be a great opportunity to do it...it will open many doors for me, but regardless of all of that, I'm still having my doubts. I sure hope the Lords clears them up for me...( and should I be excepting that??? hmm...not sure.) Anyway, I'm just not sure I want to plunge into all of this. But I do NEED an education and have some sort of career that offers a degree !!! I don't know, I'm just really confused. My saving grace is I don't have to know everything right now...that's the beauty of growing up...you don't always have to have all the answers..or any of them for that matter. I have about a yr. and half of general ed. to do before I have to "finalize" what I'm going to do with my life, and hopefully by then I'll know.

Well, I'll be starting school the 20th...and at first I was looking forward to it, but now...I don't know...not so much anymore. Hopefully, when I start and everything..I'll get more excited and really enjoy it!!! Part of me wishes I could fast forward my life over...hmm...the next 4 yrs. but I know I would miss out on life's wonder and magic. It's just hard. But who am I that I should be complaining. I've got live wonderful...I'm healthy..I do have some "brains"....lol.(though at times I wonder where they've gone??) I have people who love me and I them!! So, in reality I don't have any room or reason to complain. So, I suppose I should shut-up now. lol. It's a really good thing no one actually reads my blogs!! :)

I feel much better after venting. It always feels excellent to vent, especially when you get to write it out. Somehow, it gives me better satisfaction!! :) Well, I'll close this for now.
Until later...
much more contented gypsy

Plans..dreams...ideas..

So, I'm back...from the dead. lol. Not really...just thought I'd start this out a bit more amusing. To see if I could get you to laugh. Did I yet?? :)

Ok, moving on. I do that well. lol.

So, a few days ago, I had a bit of a dramatic meltdown, but I recovered fairly quickly!! Yay for me! The meltdown had to do with the fact of...I wasn't sure I wanted to really full fledged enter the nursing program, but I've made my decision...(once and for all...hopefully) that I will stick to it and get my education. NOT only will it be excellent money, I will also be educating myself and will be able to help and care for people in the future!! After I finish the nursing program, then I will be WAY more flexible to pursue my acting more seriously!! I still want to do that with all my heart, but I need a means to live..and this is it. I'm trying to be smart and responsible. I sure hope I'm doing the right thing. I'm pretty sure I am...it's nice to know that I have the Lord to rely on...especially when I'm not sure!! It comes in pretty handy then. :)

So, here is my grand plan! Plans always change with the circumstances of life and such...but we do need dreams to survive. Something to look forward too. At least I do...it's pretty much what I thrive on. Anyway, back to what I was saying...I want to get my RN BS..when I graduate..I want to move to San Diego...Oceanside..maybe..then once I'm established, I want to pursue my acting!! It's just an idea...so, what do you think?? It's great, right? lol.

Well, it's just dreams, plans, ideas....I'll update later.

peace,
gypsy

Plans

Well, I finally have enough time to write a bit more...(hopefully.) Much has been going on these last couple of wks. We moved back...as I stated before. I really happy about the whole moving back aspect, but the "being" back is a different story. It's gotten much better, but it was ruff the first few days back. I finally snapped. Literally...it wasn't pretty. My mom did also....so with all of this happening, plus we all moved into my aunts house...(which is only a 3 bedroom house!!) Ya, it has been chaotic. But we just living each day at a time. My parents are wanting to buy a house (I really want one with a swimming pool.) But can take time....so while their trying to find a house and jobs...we're living at my aunts. It's much better than living in oroville!!!!

Ok, so onto something more interesting. At least I hope it's more interesting! lol. I am enrolling at A.V. college and will be entering the nursing program. I want to get a B.A. in nursing...(become n R.N.) then after I have my education...where I'll be making some decent money...I'll be able to really pursue my acting career!!! But also, while I'm going to school.....I want to do community theatre and maybe get into commercials and stuff. We'll see what happens, but that at the moment is my plan!! I can't wait till I start school...I'm looking forward to it. I'm also trying to find a job. I pray that I will get one quickly!!! Life is such a great adventure!!!! Even though at times I don't always look at it that way...it really is.

Well, that is all I'll write at the moment. I'll talk about the "guy" some other time.

later for now.

Be-lated updating...and more to come

Sorry, it's been so long since I've posted. But a lot has been going on and happening since my last post! Too much, infact. I won't have the time right now to list and complain about everything (laughs and smiles:)) But I will tell the most important...drumroll please!!!!

We moved back to California! Big surpise there...right? Not really, I knew it was going to happen...just more of a matter of time. Anyway...I have much, much, more to write, but I will do it later!

until later...gyspy

Job Tales

What a day I've had! I went and submitted applications today. I was a bit nervous at first...and intimidated. But I got over it. For the most part..*wink* A couple of the places I know I won't be getting any calls from. But I really want to get a job at Starbucks! So...I'm hoping and praying that, if it's the Lord's will, I will get a job there. It will have to be the right combination...of making enough money and working enough hours. We will see...I might have to succumb to applying at M'D's...Goose forbid! lol.

Anyway....I'll keep you posted on any new developments of a job.

Well, it's about the mystery guy. But I have a feeling this will be the last time I write about him. He has gotten a girlfriend...like I predicted. But this I find pretty comical. I started laughing when I first heard it. He's dating a girl that is 25....he's only like 19 or 20...but I think more 20!! :) And the funny thing is...instead of feeling worried about it...or hurt or crushed...I just laughed. I don't know if this means...maybe, I don't have feelings for him anymore...but ya. Well, I can't figure that one out.

Well...until later.

gypsy

Thankful

I'm back!! :) A LOT has been happening since that last time I updated.

For starters...the whole church situation is on the "rocks" pretty much. It's just a matter of time before we are going to REALLY have to leave! The Lord however is in control...and we will only be leaving when it is the right time. I just have a gut feeling..among other things...that I know that we won't be here much longer. Our time here is very limited. The Lord is definitely good to us. My dad is have a hard time, but I think the Lord is allowing to work some things out of his life...but not only his, ours too. I see this whole situation as a lesson to learn from. If we had to leave tomorrow...I would have total peace. That is the most wonderful and awesome thing...though things haven't been easy (by no means!) I still have a complete peace. I know that the Lord is in control and I've finally reached the place where...I'm leaving everything in the Lord's capable hands. I have to say...for me personally, that was a long time coming, but when I finally laid everything down at his feet and just COMPLETELY left it all to him and stopped worrying, it has been the most amazing feeling in the world! Whether we had to leave tomorrow or in 2 months...I know everything will be alright..the Lord will always take care of us and love us, no matter what we've done good or bad..he forgives and forgets. Isn't he wonderful?? I think so! :)
So..for the last couple of days, especially, I have been feeling no anxiety, unrestlessness...or anything other than complete and total peace!!! Praise the Lord and thank you oh so very much!
My dad today gave a wonderful sermon! He talked about Jesus and the price he paid for us. We so often forget the magnitude of what he went through. We can't grasp it with are minds...it's impossible. We can imagine...but our imagination doesn't even come close to the real deal. I know that I can't fathom it with my mind...I've tried and trust me..what I've come up with, I know doesn't even compare with the real deal!!! I just want to say, "Lord, I can't even begin to express with words, how grateful I am to you, for dying on the cross for me, and paying the horrific price, that I might have an opportunity to spend eternity in heaven. So, even though these words are pretty in impressionable...Thank you, Thank you!"

Well, that's all for today folks. :)

Until later...

a very thankful gypsy :-)